Personal Statement

Personal Statement

            At the beginning of high school, I started off as an average student; I didn’t know my future was in my hands; I thought everything would be given to me, simply I wasn’t a child anymore. Problems at my house inflicted a trauma, I couldn’t concentrate and at an early age I responded obnoxiously creating a setback on my learning. My mentality was set on a different perspective and I felt alone and as if no one was able to understand my situation. There were nights in which I slept for couple hours because of the arguments between my parents. I always tried to find a shortcut that would take me away from all my problems. My distraction was doing drugs; this made me believe I was being more independent, mature, and intelligent. My problems were growing. I would spend most of my time philosophizing and trying to figure out how, why, who and what brought me to this world, thinking to myself I’m mad because I would always come in terms with God. Later I would see this as a sign of God.

My future is reflected by my past and what I have set myself to accomplish. From my experiences through these past few years I have lost and gained my inspiration. Junior year was when I fell into the category of being “labeled” as a “pothead” because of my mistakes I was making by hanging out with the wrong crowd. This affected my school work, social life, and most importantly I lost connections with my family making me lose myself in a nightmare I was afraid to wake up from because of the fear of reality. I was on a verge of fighting for my life; my determination to stay alive was for only one reason only and that was to get my “high,” my self-esteem was low and I had no ambition. My motivation was at minimum, I would go to school but if I had the chance I would also violate the law and I was determined to do whatever was possible to get my “lift” even if it meant I had to do it at school. To decrease my chances of getting caught in school property, I started ditching causing my grades to go down. I was heading down to “rock bottom,” my family and my friends started noticing a change in me, and it wasn’t a good change.

At my surprise my mom started going to church, and she seemed so much happier and in peace. She had been wanting me to accompany her, at my disregard I agreed with her. The day she takes me I go high. I was nervous and scared of getting judged. Once I entered the room, I felt welcomed and the atmosphere was peaceful and joyful; I would have never imagined it could be so enjoyable. Everyone in the room was entertaining themselves; I was so overwhelmed and stuck because I had never felt this way before. When the preaching had started I felt as if to burst into tears and as if God was using the pastor as a tool to speak to me. “It is not a coincidence,” I will never forget those words, the words that got me thinking, and the words that got me to understand the work of God.

I was puzzled, and it occurred to me that I could possibly be smoking while walking with God. It wasn’t true. After, getting the message through I knew that it wasn’t the right thing to do; I knew God had spoken and I was disobeying Him. At school, and at church it was two different worlds, I was still being the same as always and eventually the attitude lead me to getting caught with paraphernalia in school campus. When this occurred simultaneously I was visioning myself being a better person, as if God had done this for me to do so. The realization that I had after going off track helped me identify myself. My mistakes have gotten me to where I am now, and I have learned from them to keep me focused and prepared to what has to come next, because no one is perfect and I will keep making mistakes but I know with God everything is impossible.

 I turned to seek God because I knew I couldn’t do everything by myself. I saw how pleased my mom was once she took Jesus as her savior and even after dealing with the mindset of my dad she had hope and felt as good as always because she knew she had God. This encouraged me to turn to Him for peace and wisdom.

My life changed; it was completely turned around and I don’t regret everything that I did because of where it brought me. Every single day I stop and think of what I could have been if I didn’t make the effort to change; my world is based upon what I make it. I am grateful of the opportunity to start all over again, there is only one lifetime and in it you have to make it worthwhile. I started focusing in succeeding and trying to help not only myself but also my family and friends. Now I feel free to express myself with people and push myself to be who I know I can be. Writing poetry has been a great way for me to find and express myself. Composing my thoughts on paper has given me a chance to reflect and help me see the light when I’m down or start losing my enlightenment. With this I have gained back my inspiration, motivation, and perceived aspiration. I would love to help those around me that have been in my situation, and also give them a sense of positivity. Writing my thoughts down have helped me seek a dream of publishing an autobiographic relating to the world and the problems that we all go through; that there is so much to live for.

Literary Response and Analysis

Literary Response and Analysis to“On the bottom from Survival in Auschwitz” by Primo Levi

            When Levi arrives to Auschwitz he believed he was living “hell” once he was waiting for something to happen with no food or  drinkable water to realizing he would die soon; creating anxiousness between everyone in the room which floor was covered with cold water up to two inches with no clothes to cover up the shivers and giving them no reason to sit down. The SS man tell Levi and the others to put their shoes in orderly fashion so they wouldn’t get stolen, but to everyone’s surprise someone simply sweeps the shoes making a mess and a confusion of why the SS man ordered them to do so; forshadowing their death. When the morning comes, they are shaved, undressed, hurled in the shower, and ran threw the snow to a hut where they would get dressed. They feel ashamed to “lifting their eyes” and seeing how they look. They wouldn’t consider doing the things they are doing before, but know they are only trying to survive. The prisoners feel dehumanized because of the way they are treated; the SS men don’t call them by their names but my numbers making them forget their manners and their identity. Throughout the stay at the camp Levi uses his name to give back little of his life from the past.

            In the room that Levi was put in, there was a faucet and above it was a sign that strictly said “Wassertriken Verboten” meaning “Drinking water is forbidden.” This made Levi believe it was a joke to make the people suffer, but testing his hypothesis he tried  the water  and to his surprise it was warm and smelled like swamp water. They couldn’t think anymore, they didn’t know what to do, they felt dead.

            Levi uses the phrase “second act” to describe what happens to them after getting undressed because it is the second phase of the dehuminazing process. “We seem to be watching some made play…” refers to the unbelievable torture and suffering they are going through, while the Nazis are being entertained. Levi describes being “hallow” as someone whose soul has been taken away. The Nazis realized what they were doing and were influenced by their leader Hitler which inflicted their knowledge of human race as superior and inferior; they intentionally responded to their beliefs and if "hallow" it would be easy to kill.

            “This is hell. Today, in our times, hell must be like this. A huge, empty room: we are tired, standing on our feet, with a tap which drips something which will certainly be terrible, and nothing happens and nothing continues to happen,” this illustrates Levis perception and experiences that made the prisoners feel dehumanized. Even after he is separated from his family he has hope, “…if I think that our women are like us at this moment, and where they are, and if we will be able to see them again. I say yes, because he is married and has a daughter; certainly we will see them again.” The process of being dehuninized gives a sense of value to life that should be cherished. The torture and suffering Levi and the people received made them stronger as human beings even after the inhuman treatment they were going through. The people focused to survive and do whatever they had to do, to do so. For example, Levi gave respect to the men and asked question to figure out a way to get out of the camp.

            In the passage “On the bottom from Survival in Auschwitz” by Primo Levi is described as a memoir because he shares his personal experiences and focuses on his historical view on the politics that changed his life. He shows us how the leaders of the Nazis Party exposed them and also the difference that it made to society and the world. Levi is a personal example of what happened in the camps and how hard it was for the people to go through the discrimination they received. The purpose of the change was to give the world and insight view on what should not be repeated.